Chapter V of the free movement Carnegie governing operation
a clever topic
two met when talking to each other is often the topic of his key from the immediate topic of relations with each other, most likely to understand each other's character and temperament. This is one of the Carnegie Art eloquent summary. whether the first meeting or acquaintance who has been a long time, met a topic of conversation, often he or hobby interest directly to performance, one heart, keen to do, they will naturally appear on the topic. For example, very dedicated to their work, and his topic will naturally focus on the work, the face of such a person, without the use of deep psychological surgery. However, the fact that not all people are so simple, crisp, some people care about, love is often not directly appear in the topic, particularly cherish a deep sense of inferiority or desires of people dissatisfied due to depression psychological effects, often with different twists and turns, then reflected. <> So, look through the topic of deep psychological, should be roughly observed from two aspects, one from the content of the topic to understand each other's hearts; the second is from the topic Expand ways to explore true meaning lies. <> In the conversation we should look deep psychological content of the topic. topic usually vary, the most likely focus on, is the vital topic of relations with each other, thus to understand the people character and temperament. On this point, the recent TV show from Japan, people talk about personal problems of several programs, the probable inspiration. to attract audiences to the topic of interest, program producers or frosted glass block's upper body about the problem, or taken out of their backs.'s amazing is, where more people are brazenly talk about issues, but the majority of women, in fact, these programs but to stimulate people's curiosity, the fundamental problem of the real has lost about significance. <> was asked producers of these programs, they said, the real meaning of those who do not care about programs on television about the problem of people, and they like to take the initiative to talk about the sexual aspects of their troubles and problems. by the This can be seen, the topic is really concerned about where the speaker; but the momentum they would like to see on the show, are a common reflects their temperament and character. a certain producer, said: In women, the current pre-made in the interview section, I have only words can describe them - too much. not to mention the sexual aspect of the growth from the past to the present life, most people can talk about it in detail several hours. in determining the candidates on the program, the call to reject another volunteer who came to power, she will will throw a tantrum, that others should listen to her son. middle-aged woman was willing to come to power, but also because most of them are narcissistic, always like to talk about themselves, think they should be concerned about is the main object of what they have to themselves as the center, very headstrong, and does not show consideration for the overall situation, such people seem to have a misconception, as if the world is around them in operation. that such tendencies are generally more strongly to women, so the volunteer program by women. sometimes to me center of personality and temperament, but also a psychological immature performance. We all know that when children like to say how I how, subject always to themselves as the center, so also want to grow up as a topic of their own people the center , which means his mental age is still parked in its infancy. <> In addition to talk about other than their own, these types of people still talk of her family, work, family, in short, do not leave the self. in women, but also Some people like a meeting to talk about her husband's affair, or Valentine's girlfriend, which means that the reason she was affected by her husband to talk about each other is equivalent to talking about myself, so, this is self-centered character performance. <> like to find out the privacy of others up, many of the other's desire to dominate, others chatted aimlessly people to disperse more in the spirit of boredom. <> On the contrary, some people never talk about their topic, the topic of total others, it is facing, or love about a person's privacy, people in the field of psychology and health, as also can not be violated. So, like talking about other people's privacy, is to the language areas of infringement. If men and women This is a deep love or care about performance, but among ordinary people is, that is all the weakness of the psychological understanding of each other. In other words, that is, deep down desire to dominate each other. <> Sometimes, this people talk about what seems to be no relationship and their own people, such as people often talk about news, actor, star of privacy or scandal. the average woman's weekly magazine, mostly by anecdotes of famous people, scandal to win the reader's . <> In addition, there is a small tape recorder to steal the mission Zengyi social Housewives recorded conversation, the analysis found that, in conversation, the third is about forty percent who did not know, then it is a child, husband and myself. In these people, mostly relatives and friends all day long no lonely people, they can only talk about people who are not familiar with people who do not know or well-known celebrities, to find a common topic, go to out of their loneliness. Now the city's housewives, neighbors rarely talk to, more prone to professionals who do not know about the specific phenomenon. <> So, like to talk about has nothing to do with their topic, not the the dominant desires, with some complicated psychological factors, to dispel the feelings of loneliness boredom related. Some people are out of their own emotions, and some people are to express themselves well informed. <> are suppressed often a distorted sense of the form shown, subject content and the real desire to actually completely consistent. The purpose of shifting the subject and sometimes innuendo, seized on the issue. <> the above topic and our interlocutors from the perspective of the close relationship between the deep psychological ; the following topics we will start to explore the deep psychological way. In fact, people's love and concern are not necessarily directly reflected in the topic, the more complex social structure, human consciousness repressed feeling more strongly, while the repressed consciousness naturally in a specific form shown. In this case, the content of the topic and people are often different from the real desire, but once you can distinguish between the conscious distortion of forms and topics, will be revealed deep psychological out . For example, young people are most concerned about now is the cars, the current car, like magazines and music magazines, sales are great. Young people are always around the topic of performance and horsepower car round and round. <> in the early fifties the United States, young men and women together, always talking sweet delicious dinner hamburger and ice cream, but different, the girls always complain about the boys just love cars, simply ignore them. Because of this growing discontent many magazines have for the American Psychological counseling dissatisfaction, made the following reply: the theme of sexual organs, to enthusiastic about cars. You should not look so bad to them. as long as you concentrate on listening, male self-esteem so that they can be met. point of view, it is not surprising, but the sex was repressed, the conversation turned to give his own views Bale. <> women like falling in love with this phenomenon than a similar, because they can not openly talk about love, with regard to poetic and romantic cloak, will wrap up their deep psychological. in particular, very young, not idealized women, such as love Yeah love all day all the time, you may think that her heart has not met sexual desire. <> flashing on the surface of words, often to the heart of the wrong ideas for . <> desires more dissatisfied with the performance in the workplace, in the tall buildings of the area, as long as the meal time into a restaurant or coffee shop, will be able to hear some people vent uneven distribution of work dissatisfaction or emotional. Such topic of the degree of concentration, and sometimes even make you wonder whether these people have no work can be said of other topics. But because of this, and often placed in the company organization makes people feel very vulnerable people, their grievances and discontent that when actually become unconscious actions. The main reason, which is the result of the long-term suppression. <> appear in the words of a real inner sense of resentment and often there are differences. <> Sometimes, the surface of the words an excuse, and inner thoughts is another matter. of the relationship, a Swedish scholar had done an interesting survey, nearly two hundred women in his staff will be targeted for face to face conversation, the results discovered that the more dissatisfied people on wages, but also the more people who work can not be enthusiastic about. because of their low wages though words can not be enthusiastic about the work, in fact, they hate their jobs entirely emotional dissatisfaction over wages. <> this argument, and the Aesop fable logic is the same fox, the fox did not eat because of the grape, the pain of defeat and inferiority at play, eager to find a justification for excuse, do not say his anti-impotence sour, openly to slip away. psychology will find an excuse this excuse for being wrong behavior, called for Cable in the fable the fox, High own; was showing off in the past to cover up by now, these are diversionary way to open the conversation to let off steam. <> and the same dissatisfaction with the treatment of staff grievances and dissatisfaction are often the words from the speech show the boss out. For example, think of their own to succeed, but inability promoted to Bring out the boss promoted due to the background and saying, to the fact that their promotion did not seek If you do not and the general manager's daughter married, he has long been sent to branch out, because he had no ability to waste one! . In fact, this view may not be objective, really waste if a certain section chief, general manager how could fancy him? In fact, this is also a logic of self-deception, diversion is the way to open the conversation, hit others, lift high themselves, to let off steam, to maintain their psychological balance one way only. <> a certain qualification and some great young people, as behind the times change, promotion of road has been closed, will become satisfied with the person. However, he expressed dissatisfaction with the way reality is not complaining about the injustice of his, but often dream-like look to show off their own past. occasionally in a restaurant, you will find such people, on the same table young people talk about their past credit and glory of the past. However, he talked the more happy, more likely to cause the surrounding cold market. actually such a person is in the diversion of the way, recourse to the past as some children of the psychological mechanism has not wet the bed, but because the mother gave birth to a brother or sister, can not continue to monopolize their parents love. to the same state of mind began to wet the bed. According to Freud's view, this phenomenon is that the Some are too harsh, however, is often too aid in the past is futile, as people always linger around in the glorious dream of the past, does have the potential degradation of the hopeless sense. <> Also some people unhappy, once directly demonstrated, often accused of being heartless, and no way to seek But still not satisfied with the object of attack directly, so the performance of the roundabout to abuse, to leave on behalf of the truth, that no one to fight back. The approach, while despicable, but the resulting untie the knot, their psychological repression, but also The role of ease. <> from the subject to start the process, are often able to clearly see a person's character and psychological state of the special mentioned above, presented by the topic of deep psychological, apart from the content of the topic see also pay attention to topics including ways. If a person no matter you are to speak, suddenly stood up and raised the problem nothing to do with the discussion of the topic, which is that people are disgusted with the move. For example, we are talking about warehouse management issues, suddenly there was a charge stood up and said: Zhipei want to, want to have a strong self-display, and contempt for others, overweening. of course, not to mention the overall situation and caring for others. <>, therefore, difficult for him to get along with He Qun. <> in talks with foreign investors in, you often You can also see that some people deliberately creating hot topic for debate. This is the fear of others who made the initiative to speak, but tried to maintain their advantage in the negotiation. because if they can not pre-empt the proposed topic, the other will continue in accordance with their own manner favorable topic, the gradual change in the topic, you gradually Jiufan Yu each other, the conclusion of course, will tend to each other the most favorable direction. Therefore, on the topic beyond the control of the initiative, it means you have lose. <> a lot of good news in an interview with staff, you will also find many of them never made topic, but often follow each other's topics, but also to the other party the topic more open to expansion, the results are often able to all of them know the situation will lead out. Such people talk turns out to be an expert. Of course, other staff, also have this very careful to listen to others talk, and be good at inducing people. <> for its character Such people have a tolerant and kind heart, to gain insight into others. <> In addition, there is a man always speaks grip center, , speak what I think, there is no rule to constantly change the subject. <> The person who is not the intention of the manic patients Yat Ben is not logical thinking people, or what the hearts of anxiety, emotional instability, myriad of thoughts, and not systematic induction to cause fragmentation of conversation, it sounds very boring people, and we will not think he rich topic. <> in front of us have repeatedly stressed that the subject should have their own deep feelings, it is extremely important. unless the topic of their choice has a special preference for the emotional, or expectations of the audience will believe you Jiubeng which desire to succeed. The reason is very clear that if a person has actual contact with the subject of choice and experience, It is full of enthusiasm, you will not worry about the enthusiasm of the. Twenty years ago, Carnegie encountered a lecture in New York, caused by their convincing enthusiasm, so far has left out no. Carnegie said that this presentation is to overcome the sense of absolute good faith cases. <> In a New York sale of the company, the sales staff have a first-class argument put forward unusual, said he has been able to make No grass growing under the circumstances. According to his experience, he will scatter the ashes of hickory in the new plowed soil, and then blink of an eye it appears between the bluegrass! He firmly believed that hickory ash, hickory and ash only the reason is the bluegrass grow. <> to comment on his speech, the Carnegie had moderate to him that he found such a remarkable, if true, would make him a millionaire overnight. because bluegrass seeds of several dollars per kilogram value. Carnegie also told him that the discovery will make him become a very prominent man in the history of scientists. other people feel very ridiculous, he said, but he was not even a little bit did not comprehend. his own argument is very warm, hot hopeless. He immediately stood up to tell Carnegie, he is not wrong. He protested that he had not quoted theory, just a statement of their own experiences only. He said he knew the object of what they said, and went on to expand the original paper, presented additional information, give more evidence, his voice filled with sincerity and honesty. <> things go just so incredible. Several of my students gave to his station to the other side, many people began to wonder. Carnegie also know that more than half will be on his side. so he asked those who stood on his side , what is shaken their original point of view? them one by one, the speakers said that the enthusiasm and believe in common sense to wonder whether their own point of view. <> because people are so credulous, Carnegie had to write letter to the Ministry of Agriculture to ask this question. Sure enough, the Agriculture Ministry replied that, to make the Blue Grass or other living things that grow from the ashes mountain mahogany, is not possible, they add that they also received from New York another letter, also ask the question. the original salesman who advocate on their own too sure, so immediately after they wrote a letter back. <> such a thing gives a memorable Carnegie Inspiration. If the speaker strongly believe something fervently and look strong speech it will be able to gain people's trust and support of him, even though he claims to be nurtured by the bluegrass hickory ash were not hurt. Since Thus, we have summarized, sorted out the conviction, even in common sense and truth here, and there will be much more convincing do? <> Almost all speakers are suspect, the subject of their choice whether your audience . only one way to ensure that will teach them interested, that is to light their enthusiasm for the subject to fear can not grasp the people's interest. <> Not long ago, Carnegie heard a man in his speech warned listeners that if let people caught in Sharpes Bay Rock Fish BAK methods continue, and within a few years of this species will be extinct. He really impressed his subject, it is sincere and warm matter to the content and manner of his indeed have shown that. In fact, in his first speech, Carnegie does not know what Sharpes BAK Wanli stone fish this thing. He guessed most of the audience like him ignorant, and lack of interest. But , the speaker has not yet finished, Carnegie said, I'm afraid we all have been willing to jointly request to the legislature legislation to protect the stone fish. <> Once, someone asked former U.S. Ambassador to Italy, Richard China to be the * Qiao Erde, how can he become a writer Interesting? successful trick where? he replied: ; met speakers like him or author, but also by what he had to attract. <> In London, there is a Carnegie and a pedestrian, after listening to speeches, one of the famous British novelist, said this The last part of speech even more than the first part of his appreciation. Carnegie asked him why, he replied: passions and interests. presentation of the Chinese and foreign, but also carefully selected topics, the following examples illustrate the importance of carefully selected topics. <> a zero to Mr Fu is to describe the capital of the United States. the fact that he is from a local newspaper issued a booklet in haste and come to collect shallow, it sounds boring, incoherent, without digestion. He just blindly recite a series of boring facts, the following people listen to the sad, he also speaks pain. <> Unexpectedly, two weeks later, something happened to Mr. Fu zero to entrap: <> He has a new car parked in the street, an unknown vehicle hit to, to It hit a pulpy, named after the barrier were reported to escape without a trace. this matter, but first hand experience of living. Therefore, when he knocked pulpy Zheliang talking about the car, his speech was explain the meaning of words cut, Yuanyuan Quan, fire boiling, as if Mount Vesuvius erupted. also a speech two weeks ago, it is also irritable boredom, anxiety twisting in his chair, and now gave a speech of Mr. Fu zero to warm applause. <> So, Carnegie has repeatedly pointed out that if the correct choice questions, will be successful. There is to ensure that the subject of one can not go wrong: the talk about their beliefs. your life around certain aspects of their own must be a bit strong faith, so you do not have to search heaven and earth to these subjects. They are usually on the surface of your consciousness, because you always think of them. <> long ago, television legislators carried out the death penalty hearing. Many witnesses were called to attend to the vexed issue of this man made the pros and cons. one of which is a member of the Los Angeles police station. Obviously, he had thought this issue over and over again. He has eleven police colleagues, died in a shootout and fight criminals. Based on these facts, his mind germination of the strong belief in the need for the death penalty. He put it all by heart, from the mind of reason to believe their own right. <> has always been the greatest eloquence attractive, foes out of deep conviction and a person feels. <> built on faith than good faith, but faith is bent out of things to say on his own warm feelings, out of mind for what's cool to say Thinking. ; he gives the impression of a superficial surface, beautiful in his mouthful of ways, it seems not a little real emotion. in the same city, there is a insurance salesman, was a tiny little, humble appearance, From time to time to stop pondering what to say words. But when he speaks, there is no doubt that he is not an audience for every word true. Lincoln Theatre in Washington, President Ford assassination box, a hundred years have elapsed since the . but his life, his words, deep and sincere faith, but always with us. if the legal knowledge, many of his contemporaries were far more than he; his lack of a sub-elegant, smooth and delicate., however, He Gettysburg, Cooper Union, and the steps of Capitol Hill in Washington, a speech, no one can go beyond history. <> It is said that he had no strong convictions and interests. You may also like him Like say, and for this situation, Carnegie was a little surprised. Carnegie tell that person, make yourself busy, must make myself interested in things together. said: feed them. to the library to read information about them, tell them to go back this time. enthusiasm to talk about those pigeons. When Carnegie wanted him to stop, he was as far as information about pigeon books, and he has read them all over! his speech, the most heard is Carnegie One interesting presentation. <> here there is a suggestion: that the good to their current topic, try to know more about it. you know something more, you will be more dedicated to it, the more enthusiastic . one mile and you pulled over. you to calm and indifferent attitude of a bystander to tell us not not solid, but this happened to you, you will have some kind of feeling, this feeling will make you a very clear language expression. The second person narration, it can not cause much impression on the audience. They would like to know, that police officers write you a ticket when your heart feels. So the more you can make your vivid description of the scene, or re-create the original feel of the mood, the more you can express yourself vivid. <> we go to the theater, one of the reasons the film, that is, you want to see and hear the feelings of the show. We are afraid of their own will publicly reveal the feelings, so to see drama, to meet the needs of these feelings show. <> Therefore, when speaking in public, you will pour the conversation according to their own level of enthusiasm demonstrated their enthusiasm and interest . Do not suppress your true emotions, do not be realistic in their passion for people to add a closure on the airlock. Let the audience see the subject you talk about how their own enthusiasm, so that you can grasp the audience's attention. < ;> When you took to go to lecture the audience, should be an air of confidence, not like a person to board the gallows. brisk pace may jump out of most equipment. But it will create for you miracle, and will make the audience feel that you have your own very keen to talk about what you want. In his speech before doing deep breathing, do not rely on furniture or lectern. head up, chin looked up. you have to tell the audience some the value of things, so every part of your body should be clearly and unmistakably to let them know that. Now you are in power, as James said, to perform well it is. If the sound can not be transmitted to the rear of the hall, This sound will make you more sure. Once you start to start gesture, they are more excited you. <> Du Nade and Irene Stewart, described as nore one point jump for joy, vitality, impact and passion. These are the marks of his. He always deal with their own deep interest in all things, completely forgetting oneself, or as he pretended to be that way, Explanation: The may have had the experience: <> You sat on the slope all the way to many, can be described as ups and downs, twists and turns. drivers to drive the truck too fast, looking out of the ravine that is nervous, you Heart sixes and sevens, very nervous. However, the technology can be described as the driver skillfully men, and he skillfully freely shift, sitting in the car you will feel very smooth. If you do not look out the window, eyes closed, you may even produce a very comfortable kind of feeling ... ... <> But you know, there are also talks of a But it also has wider implications, such as the intention of the negotiations, the negotiations, so the change in the subject of negotiations. <> There is a requirement is consistent with the requirements of the driver shift, that is agile and familiarity. < > Sometimes, a party to the negotiations very much like some sort of agreement, for example, do you really want to have to buy the other set of equipment, but the more you want it, the more you should remind yourself, do Do not let the other know of your intentions. As soon well aware of your intentions, your topic in the conversion of the negotiations will encounter great obstacles, your difficulties. <> you can greatly appreciate it, in short, in your words and deeds and the real purpose of the current layer of fog between the sprinkled, so that the other is difficult to distinguish. so you are always active, you can put one up your opponents into a trap. < ;>
two negotiation and control them
<> negotiators to accept the proposal of the other side there is a limit problem, can not do without the principle to make concessions. In other words, the negotiations there is always a limit, beyond this limit , you may not consider each other's proposals. So, every negotiation must be clear in the negotiation what their minimum limit, the maximum limit of what is. With a sense of proportion, the two sides to negotiate successfully. < > So, how to achieve maximum coordination of the aspirations and wishes of the smallest? In negotiation, both sides have a maximum limit and minimum limits. maximum limit is to want to get the most benefit, while the minimum limit will not guarantee that loss is generally In other words, agreement is reached the minimum required conditions, is guaranteed manufacturers leverage. <> in to the negotiating table before, you should first figure out the other side of things and really want to cause some of the other's intentions and the necessary information. in was fully prepared to, you will probably make their own requests, each other, work together to find the best way to come together. <> preparation is necessary, only to find out all of this, you can know what to say and what not to say, and what to do, should do, between desire and reality is possible to find the best fit point. <>, for example, when your planning manager proposed pay increase, you'd better pay closer look at the reasons he put forward what is, what is a reasonable basis, you have reason to meet his requirements. If a raise in salary, manager does in his work beyond his job well done, it should be said that his salary request is reasonable, as the number of salary increases be considered truly rational, then naturally there is a variety of criteria. The key problem is that you know their requirements are reasonable , but do not want to give him a raise how to do. of course you have your reasons, such as the signing of the contract without which you, or the company does not pay the precedent ... you ... <> However, no matter how you do not want to meet this requirement, you do not allow the other party that you are deliberately against him, you can not increase as the boss the distance between each other, but should be communication, make some concessions to the other side to understand your difficulties. <> In these, do not have any radical words and deeds, because we are not wrong. <> Everyone wants to get more benefits This is understandable. <> then you can consider two kinds of desire between the maximum and minimum gap between how much, on how much the loss of your own. In general, the department could not immediately estimate the value of it, but If an improper use of a strategy, your losses will show up at once, and then you will understand the value of people to do the planning of how big. <> us first to assume that, if the planning department The manager is a good young, aggressive and very creative plan, which the company is relying on his years of planning have such results, then you give him a raise, what is not appropriate? Because you are know, no matter what you give him a raise, are much lower than the value he created. <> In fact, you can do would have long ago, the use of his salary to mobilize the enthusiasm, encouraged him to work is a more Well, this will only work in your favor. if only in a little bit of debating the issue of wages, then the final will be worth the candle. understand this truth, you will reduce unnecessary ...
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